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Humans icon.png
Humans
Humans portrait.png
Details
Race
Humans
Homeworld
Planet Earth

Humans are a race in the game. They are described as a young race, that accidentally obtained the technologies for interstellar travel as a result of a space battle that took place on their planet's orbit.

Convinced that they are chosen to be the "galaxy's judges", passionate about various procedures and committees, constantly fighting for the rights of some kind of minorities, usually at the expense of the majority.

They are unpredictable negotiators.

Also called “Earthlings” after their home planet

The most bureaucratic race in the universe, they cannot take one step forward without first completing the requisite paperwork. Not a finger is lifted from their chair, in fact, until everything is written down, described, put through the correct protocols, and stamped. A lot of people like to joke about Humans, claiming the only thing they can do without filling out the right paperwork first is declare galaxy-wide values from the Tribunal of High Truths with an upturned face. They make a habit of that no matter who asks (or doesn’t) and how much it is needed (or not).

Physiology[]

Earthling physiology is primitive to the point of disbelief. They can’t survive high temperatures, low temperatures, atmospheric pressure, or gravity; all they can do is live within a very narrow range of conditions. Food and water have to be readily available, and they quickly lose the will and ability to live without their customary surroundings, cuisine, and entertainment. Even if they do manage to survive temporary periods of heightened emotional or physical stress, they need a break immediately afterwards to rest. Long, exhausting battles are not for them. In short, they are poor warriors and excellent talkers whose physical and intellectual handicaps are compensated for by their technology, and whose single redeeming quality is that they would turn their world upside down to help the suffering. Needless to say, there are more than enough subjects for their good deeds both on Earth and on other planets, and so Humans love humanitarian missions as well as operations aimed at keeping order. However, they rarely end well…

There are three Human genders: two of them exist for the purpose of procreation while the third is strictly for pleasure. Females bear children no more frequently than once a year. Children are raised amid a chaotic system that leaves families constantly in flux, while the many organizations that exist to aid in the process do nothing but confuse the reproduction system in place and segregate the race along both intellectual and physical lines.


History[]

Humans have scaled down efforts to settle the closer reaches of space that began when they left Earth’s bounds behind. To be honest, they probably would never even have left their star system in the first place if two powerful races had not chosen their corner of the galaxy for a skirmish. The battle left enough wreckage behind that the quirky humanoids were able to get themselves into space. Since then they have been indefatigable. One planet after another was colonized by them until they found themselves in the outermost reaches of the galaxy. Some say they need to be stopped before they envelop the entire universe with their myriad commissions, committees, congresses, and other bureaucratic procedures. The developed races would go crazy.

The only civilized group that likes Humans is the Magellans, as they found a way to use the Humans in a way nobody expected. Humans turned out to be highly ingenious when it comes to informal contacts with other humanoids (the Magellans themselves, who the Humans appear to consider distant relatives, are a good example), and a few short experiments were all it took to understand that hybrid Human-Magellans have the gift of incredible eyesight.

Humans have tried on multiple occasions to create the Organization of Nearby Planets, the Interplanetary Collective, and the Galactic Federation, though they have not yet succeeded. Their attempts to create a centralized cultural center for the galaxy met a similar end, though they were able to salvage an archive where all unclaimed recordings and artifacts are collected.


Culture[]

Human culture is varied and tough to systematize, developing in unpredictable directions and waffling between primitive and highly spiritual forms. Scientists who have studied Human art consider it easier to teach Drills how to use a bathroom than to understand why Humans periodically impoverish their art and literature traditions so they can reboot and rebuild them from scratch. Not only that, but the civil wars that used to happen constantly always involved the destruction of cultural monuments (the more grand old monuments the conqueror destroys, the more complete his victory looks, or so they thought). On the other hand, Humans themselves deeply regret that habit, considering it a form of barbarism (a term adopted from their language) they left behind in ancient times.

The heritage created by Humans is highlighted by film and television industries that can be considered unique to them due to a lack of parallels among other races. Of particular note are TV shows featuring contacts between Humans and cosmic civilizations that do not exist in nature. Humans themselves push their propaganda projects relentlessly under the banner of news media or, alternatively, something they call “historical programs.” While an element of this art form is focused on preserving information, it also acts as a powerful vehicle driving their point of view and creating positive press for the program authors.

The Human government is called the Global Congress. While its functions are not always clear, negotiations are held in its name and it is used to push the opinion of Humans on the inhabitants of other worlds.

Humans adore fighting for a variety of rights: those of everyone not among the leading galactic races, those of everyone without enough space to live in, those who Humans think have not received their fair share of information and technology, and others. That obtrusive effort to enhance the position of minorities at the cost of the majority may seem strange, though everyone has the right to their own shortcomings—even races as unusual as the Humans. For some reason they also consider themselves the bearers of truth and a higher justice. No one knows where they got the idea that their race is called to bring peace throughout the world and teach the rational races how to live, though it is an idea they wholeheartedly believe in.

The religions held dear by Humans are as varied as their art, and in the past have led them to destroy each other. Religious dogma has most likely grown into its scientific and political cousins, which explains why Humans so persistently stick their noses into the affairs of the other races.


[1]

  1. game log


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